Day 3, The Value of the Burrito has doubled.

I've been drinking a lot of Vitamin Water lately. I like them. It's like drinking water and getting my vitamins at the same time! Wow! What's next, television's in the kitchen? Anyway, I've been on a mission to quit drinking Dr. Pepper since the first of Janaury. One might say that I set a New Year's resolution. Well, I haven't had any soda since the 1st. I was really proud of myself. "Was" being the operative word in that sentence. I relasped.

I was having such a good day. I woke up, took a shower, took the boys to school, took Tavia to pre-school, took myself to school, then took everyone in my Non-fiction writing class to school, and even used the word 'school' five times in one sentence. *Count it!*

Then the headache started. I was running an errand for one of the English professors which involved a lot of walking around and it started slowly. The beeping in the English Department is probably what started it.

It's still beeping.

After running the errand, I decided that I wanted to feel like a responsible adult and so I called the hospital to make sure that my Emergency Room bill account was taken care off (see previous blog). A quick summary of last blog: I was called by a collector for a bill that I already paid to a different collection company. Or so I thought.

I called the Hospital (and got put on hold for 15 minutes) to make sure that my account was paid in full so that the collection company would stop calling me and take me off their list. The hospital shows no record of payment. I tell them that I just paid the bill with Moutainland Collections and the lady explains to me that they don't use that Collection company. I proceeded to tell her that the bill that I was holding in my hand shows that Timpanogoes Regional Hospital Emergency Room as the client on the bill. She denies the possibility that it could be them because, like she said, they don't use that collection company. She was a rather coarse women with little sympathy. I, up to this point, had been very polite. She then explained to me that the Doctor that saw me that evening may use that collection company. I was perplexed seeing as I was never told that I would be billed by both the hospital and the doctor...and that both bills would be exactly the same amount...an absurd amount to begin with. Plus I said that if this was in fact the bill from the Doctor, shouldn't the collection company have named the Doctor or his practice as the Client rather than the T.R.H.E.R. She said she has no idea why and that she doesn't care what my bill says. Then I proceeded to tell her how absurd that is to be billed seperately by the hospital AND the doctor that talked to me for two minutes AT the hospital that employs the doctor. AND how after three hours of waiting for said Doctor, he came in for not even two minutes to explain to me that I was fine and that one of the nurses would shoot me in the ass with dyphenhydramine and give me a couple pills before he walked out. I wouldn't say that this experience was worth $300 dollars. I don't even think the whole experience of waiting three hours before this experience with the doctor was worth $300 dollars. Then I asked her why the hospital bill was 300 dollars and this was her response "Because they hooked you up to a heart monitor and put you in a room with a bed." I respond with something about that being absurd and how I don't expect to pay 300 dollars to wait in a room and watch my heart rate for three hours before someone could actually see me. If I had known that those things would have cost so much, I would have told the nurse that I'd just sit in a chair and wait until the doctor could see me. If I had known that all they were going to do was give me a shot of benadryl(dyphenhydramine) than I just would have gone to the store and bought me a bottle of the stuff for $3.99 rather than pay $600.00.

That's right...the price of that burrito has now doubled. It was $600.00. I dare say that might be the most expensive burrito in history.

I told her that I would speak with the Doctor that talked to me for two minutes and that I would be dispute the hospitals bill. I was so angry, so frustrated, so headache-ish, that I bought a soda. I fell off the wagon. I was ready to go down to the hospital and protest their wicked ways. It is absolutely absurd about how much they charged me for how little was done.

I am also upset that Dr. Micah Jones sent me to collections under false pretenses (supposedly, I'm still skeptical that there was even two different bills), saying that I was paying the T.R.H.E.R. AND if it was his bill, I want it refunded because I don't care who you are...nobody should be making 300 dollars for two minutes of dialogue that could have been discovered on WEBMD.

At this point, I don't want to pay the bill on my belief that it is not ethical to charge someone so much for what was apparently an emergency, screw my credit score. A hundred years ago, I probably would have paid the Doctor with a simple grin and a hand-shake and the good feeling of helping someone out. What has this world come to? We live in an absurd reality where the rich are able AND willing to exploit the poor. Are there no morals left in business? Business?!!! An emergency room shouldn't be a business. It should be for people with emergencies regardless of their insurance situation or lack thereof. I'm definitely NOT for the socialization of medicine but I think that socializing Emergency Rooms would be the ethically moral thing to do. Now before you go telling me of horror stories of how people in Canada and England have to wait 6 hours before they see a Doctor...I would say that I am all for having strict regulations as to what would be considered an emergency (broken limbs, punctured lungs, ugly faces). My case for example...I had an allergic reaction that caused my throat to swell up making it difficult to breath. Was this an emergency? It sure felt like an emergency BUT definitely not a $600 dollar "I'm about to die" emergency. Someone at the hospital could have simply said "Sir, take some benadryl and you'll be fine in an hour."

Also, I was never told how much the E.R. visit would cost me before I signed the release. They wouldn't tell me.

I want to run inside the E.R. and kick over an E.K.G. machine and run out whilst holding a sign that says "IF YOU HAVE AN EMERGENCY...GO TO THE ONE IN PROVO OR AMERICAN FORK!!!"

On top of all this...I've decided to grow my chest hair out because Hannah wants to know what it looks like when it's all grown out. I've been shaving my chest since high school. I'm not even sure what it looks like. I hate hair. But I love my wife so I'm letting it grow out...so my chest is all itchy. I'm starting to take the shape of a caveman.

The end.