Crying in Plain View

Tear's are strolling down my otherwise dry face and I imagine that the students that are walking past me are probably wondering what the hell is wrong with me.

Its not everyday that you see someone as rough looking as my self tear up...

...but I actually tear up fairly easily. AND I'm not ashamed of my rather sensitive side either. In fact, a recent study showed that men who listen to Heavy Metal are quite sensitive. The report states that "one of the most surprising things is the similarities between fans of classical music and heavy metal. They're both creative and at ease but not outgoing. The general public has held a stereotype of heavy metal fans being suicidally depressed and of being a danger to themselves and society in general. But they are quite delicate things."(http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/7598549.stm).

Heavy metal is not the only thing I listen to so I'm not sure I could be labeled as a metal head BUT it is probably what I listen to about 85% of the time.

Anyway, I digress. So here I am, sitting in the hall, with tears wetting my cheeks because of a damn song...actually two songs. Neither are metal but thats beside the point(not that metal songs don't tear me up...In Flames' Take This Life and Delight and Anger) I've been spending the last hour thinking of songs I want at the reception. I've been fans of these two bands for a long time and everytime I hear these songs, I cry.

This first song by Say Anything might seem innocent when watching the video but when you pay close attention to the lyrics, you'll find that it is about a couple who are alive with the glory of love despite being jewish during the Nazi era in germany. They're caught and sent to concentration camps. The video potrays this innocently by having a summer camp motif but still, it is very powerful(and suggestive). Here are the lyrics:

When I watch you, I wanna do you right where you're standing (yeah)
Right on the foyer, on this dark day, right in plain view (oh yeah)
Of the whole ghetto. The boots stomp meadows, but we ignore that (yeah)
You're lovely, baby. This war is crazy. I won't let you down (Oh no no)

No, I won't let them take you, won't let them take you
Hell no no, oh no, I won't let them take you, won't let them take you
Hell no no.

No, oh no no no!

And when our city, vast and shitty, falls to the axis (yeah)
They'll search the buildings, collect gold fillings, wallets and rings (oh yeah)
But Ms. Black Eyeliner, you'd look finer with each day in hiding (oh yeah)
Beneath the wormwood, oooh, love me so good.
They won't hear us screw away the day. I'll make you say:

(Alive! Alive!
Alive with love, alive with love tonight)

No, I won't let them take you, won't let them take you
Hell no no, oh no, I won't let them take you, won't let them take you
Hell no no.

Our Treblinka is alive with the glory of love!
Treblinka, alive, with the glory of love, yeah!

(Treblinka is a Death Camp in poland where over 850,000 people were killed between 1942 and 1943)

Should they catch us and dispatch us to those separate work camps,
I'll dream about you. I will not doubt you with the passing of time (oh yeah)
Should they kill me, your love will fill me, as warm as the bullets (yeah)
I'll know my purpose. This war was worth this. I won't let you down.
No, I won't
No, I won't
No, I won't

(Alive! Alive!)
(Alive with love, alive with love tonight)
Hell no no, oh no (Alive! Alive!)
I won't let them take you, won't let them take you (Alive with love, alive with love tonight)
Hell no, no
No, no

This second song is by Yellowcard. If you listen to the lyrics, it's about an old couple who has been married for a long time. I was listening to this song a lot a year ago when my Grandfather was close to dying. It reminds me so much of my Grandparents. I have to bite my lip to keep myself from completely loosing it right now. My Papa died a year ago yesterday. I still cry when I think about him, I miss him so much. I couldn't have asked for a better Grandfather, especially since my other Grandfather died when I was only a few months old.

BUT out of great sadness is born great happiness.

It was also a year ago yesterday that Hannah came into my life. I can't help but think that my Grandfather played a role in pushing her towards me shortly after his passing. He wanted to see me get married so bad. He would always talk about how good looking I was and how I was someday going to conquer the world. I listened to this song on repeat during the week after his death.

I miss you Papa. I know you'll be at the wedding. I'm sure I'll hear you singing one of your songs.

I love you Hannah.



Enough of this crying in public, here's a video to clear the eyes. Happy Halloween: