Shankill Butcher (1st draft) Peer Review

I'm sitting in class right now, listening to the class of 20 students tear apart my flash fiction story. I didn't expect anyone to like it because nobody in any of my English writing class have had any interest in my Irish influenced stuff...

...but so far I've had three people tell me they really like it. I'm surprised, considering I use a lot of slang and terms that aren't exactly common knowledge to Western Americans.

So here's what people are saying:

"It would make for a good dramatic monologue"

"I like the way it starts with pity, ends with pity"

"What does Craythur mean? and what is a punt?"

"We don't need as much 'da' for 'the' "

"This says A LOT in a short few paragraphs"

"Cut out the dialect, I don't get it."

"I really like how the story is told."

"We need one scene to make it flash fiction."

"Each of the events could be dramatized out into a book"

"It doesn't have a current story."

"It feels like just a memory, or recruiting"

"Whose he talking to?"

"There are some really nice things going on in the story, just needs some more exposition."

"Write more! Forget about 550 word limit and expound on each part."


This was pretty much the synopsis of what the class was saying. Pretty positive overall. I'm actually pretty shocked. The changes people wanted seemed mostly to expound more on what I've already written.